"Gearhead" identity crisis - Part DCLXVI

"Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore" (reivax-rotciv)
11/18/2019 at 04:41 • Filed to: None

I always had this frustration of “I’m not gearhead enough” or “I’m not a true gearhead”.

I like cars, my professional life is all car-related (OEM/Tier1/Consultancy) and I love my work ( despite thinking that sometimes ignorance is bliss ). I read about cars all day long ( even not work-related ), and I spend more time in classifieds looking at all those cars I won’t buy ( I guess you can relate... ). I even had my share of notable cars ( 76 Beetle, 2001 Twingo, 77 Chevrolet Opala ), and I miss some of them.

But now I can’t be arsed to go to car events, even if !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is just around the corner for me. I always think of the wildest ideas, like importing something from the US to the UK or buying something classic locally, but then I remember that I’ll have to give up time with the family, involve a lot of money, etc. and I really think that I really can’t be bothered.

House buying and improvements, save/invest money, travel, etc are all things that make me think about not spending too much time/money/energy on cars. (I might add that I’ve doing poor financial decisions in the last 10 years, cars are involved in most of them and I am still paying some debt)

FFS, I drive a Fit CVT because it saves me Ł100/mo over a Golf or Focus ( car is on company scheme, pay monthly and have everything but fuel included )

It seems that all makes sense, but I don’t feel like a true gearhead ( whatever it means ), but all decisions towards being a car guy make me feel as I would not have peace of mind.

I just want to share these thoughts with Oppo. Thanks for the patience (if you reached here)

DISCUSSION (15)

jimz > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 05:07

I always had this frustration of “I’m not gearhead enough ” or “I’m not a true gearhead”.

Whenever you think this, ask yourself “who am I trying to impress, and why? What do I gain from it?”

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 05:14

I have bought two cars in the last two decades. One of them turned into a failed project. The other one is slowly going that way...I keep buying replacement parts for it that I never get around to fitting. So I'm not much of a gearhead either. But I don't really care!

Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore > jimz
11/18/2019 at 05:19

Good point. I try to question myself: “Well, working in cutting edge technology and reading all I can isn’t enough?” and realize (for 2 minutes) that I don’t need a remarkable car to be a gearhead. And, as you questioned, I do not expect recongnition from other people...

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 05:22

I hadn’t really planned on posting to Oppo again, especially in the middle of the night. But I felt this was more important than the average Renault Twingo shitpost.

So, in the IT world and probably several other worlds, impostor syndrome is a thing. It’s common to only really hear about good news in any medium that is public, since people don’t like airing out their closets often, and that often exacerbates any self-gatekeeping that people tend to do when they’re not 100% continuously confident.

The fact that you think about any of this at all sounds pretty gearhead to me. All walks of life and only you can make the following determinations:

1. What value Oppo has to you in terms of car-dom
2. What it means to even be Oppo/a gearhead
3. How much of a gearhead you think you need to be

Focusing on saving, on your family, on the things that really matter to you sound like a fine choice, but the point is that it’s your choice. Not ours.

So you don’t go Cars&Diarrhea all the time and you don’t spend any time welding pieces onto a BMW clownshoe to turn it into a makeshit VW camper van.

You obviously care about cars. That’s gearhead/Oppo enough for me, and the best part is my opinion on your gearheadism doesn’t even fucking matter. So you can decide how much petrol you want to gargle in your daily life, and it’s nobody’s right but yours to give you grief about it.

I wish you well in your automotive journey and hope my words lead to a better peace of mind.

Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
11/18/2019 at 05:41

Thanks for the kind words, Mr. McDildertits (had a laugh with the nickname).

I don’t know/think if I do care about how much of a gearhead I am. I think is more like an inner pressure that I do on myself on that. Because if I had a, let me say, Gen4 Mustang in UK, which would be remarkable, I wouldn’t show it off on the internet, nor would go more do C&M. So it’s not about showing to others, but proving to myself that I can do it. I am a bit frustrated of not being able to do it with the Opala or the Beetle.

Writing this answer made me realize two things: 1) in a lot of other senses in my life I don’t do things thinking about self benefits, I always do things that would be better to the familiy and to those I care. Like if what I want is not important as the family comunity matters. And 2) My depression is really not on it’s best week. I’d better tame the black dog soon before it bites someone.

Thanks again for the words!

Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
11/18/2019 at 05:42

PS: please post about the twingo. I’ve ridden a 2017 one saturday and was impressed!

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 05:46

You’re welcome, and I’m glad you do the car things for yourself and not for others. Have a virtual pint on me. I’m glad that people are still getting a kick out of the silly name.

shop-teacher > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 06:57

You are your version of a g earhead, and that’s all that matters. You do you.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 08:34

Do you enjoy cars/vehicles and seek them out on your own? You’re a gear head

You said it yourself, you read a lot about it, fantasize about it, and have even owned a few “ gearhead worthy” vehicles.

Just because you don’t have a garage full of vehicles and projects, weld your own cage, or even have a “gearhead worthy” car doesn’t mean squat.

You’re being sensible and prioritizing your family first, if that disqaulifies you from being a gearhead then I don’t want to be one.

arl > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 08:42

You’re not the only one.

I grew up reading Hot Rod magazine and always felt bad I wasn’t swapping engines, welding up new suspension bits, or repainting my own car. But as I’ve gone through life, it’s occurred to me that you can be a gearhead without being a wrench turner. You can appreciate all kinds of cool cars, love to drive them, own them, see them at cars & caffeine, talk about them, wash and wax them, and yet still not want to wrench on them.

I’m not so sure why it took me many years to figure this out, but I’m sure that reading all those magazines in my youth had something to do with it .

Keep calm and cruise on......

Derpwagon > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 09:53

Hot take: I feel like you’re trying to define your own enjoyment of something based on the actions of others, or what you think others might perceive.

Do what makes you happy. Who gives a shit if you don’t go to every (or any) meet, 2jZ swap your car, weld a custom cage, or any of that. Long as you’re happy with that you do, everyone else can fuck right off.

CobraJoe > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 10:24

But now I can’t be arsed to go to car events, even if Caffeine&Machine is just around the corner for me. I always think of the wildest ideas, like importing something from the US to the UK or buying something classic locally, but then I remember that I’ll have to give up time with the family, involve a lot of money, etc. and I really think that I really can’t be bothered.

I’m with you on this, almost exactly.

There’s a cars and coffee thing really close to my house, and I haven’t been there in over a year. I was very involved in a few Gambler 500 events in previous years, but I’m losing the want to keep participating (the crowd seems different, but that’s not the whole thing).

Basically, I’m feeling “car depressed”. No real desire to do anything car related, even though I still obsess over them.

Maybe that’s because I’m not interested in hanging out with people who only want to brag about how much the spent, maybe it’s because I don’t actually own a fun car right now, maybe it’s because I just don’t have time to work on something as often as I used to... I don’t know, but thinking about everything I could be doing just makes me more “car depressed”.

It seems that all makes sense, but I don’t feel like a true gearhead ( whatever it means ), but all decisions towards being a car guy make me feel as I would not have peace of mind.

The only reason I haven’t quite felt like “Not a true gearhead” is because of one thing: I am currently working on my dream car. It’s an extremely slow build, I barely have anything to show for it yet, I probably have 3 more years of work to do before it’s ready to see the street, but I am still working on it.

Granted, it took me 10 years of living before I got to the place where I could attempt this project, 5 years of design work, and 2 years of building so far... but I’m doing it. I just wish I had more time to dedicate to the project now.

So, I guess my advice is to figure out what your dream is, and then do something to work towards it. Search out info about it, plan out your finances to make it work, research potentially cheaper options, join groups to learn more.... There are a lot of things that you could do that cost nothing.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely
11/18/2019 at 11:02

Dibs on “Petrol Garglers” for the name of my post-apa colyptic roving car gang!

Jewish Stig > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 12:18

Before o moved to Germany, almost 2 years ago, i spent most of my waking hours configuring M2's, and 911's online.

I thought to myself “fuck yeah, Germany the land of cool cars, i will definitely buy something”

I didn’t take to account the fact that the public transportation actually works here... And the fact that there ia absolutely no parking if you live in the city.

Fast forward to the present, i didn’t buy a car, when i need one i open a car sharing app.

It doesn’t mean, that i don’t read car related/news/reviews/blogs for my enjoyment.

Its still a topic that interests me.

i86hotdogs > Oppenheimer - not missing my shitboxes anymore
11/18/2019 at 12:28

I learned quickly in college that people will know more than you about this topic , but other people will also know less than you on the same topic. This goes for any topic. Within my group of friends and family , I am the most knowledgeable on the car scene, and hard rock/metal scene. But I knew people in college (and professional career) that knew a lot more of both topics than I do. I initially saw that as a negative spot against me. But I later learned to use that as a learning advantage. Instead of hating myself for not being number 1, I learned more from them. Sometimes, those “experts” learned something from you as well. It’s humbling, but you can become better for it.